Engineer & Entertain

Ideas I grapple with

the Iliad, yo diggety

            Recently I saw Troy starring Brad Pitt and Orlando Bloom and some others that I do not know the names of.  Regardless of which the movie was excellent and very well done.  The cinematography was very similar to that of Gladiator.  In reality the movie seems to juxtapose Brad Pitt for Russell Crowe and Greece for Rome. 

            The story line is very entertaining although slightly askew from the Iliad of which the movie based.  Personally I enjoyed the language that Homer (writer of the Iliad and Odyssey).  In case you do not enjoy the language or have forgotten the story of the Iliad I am going to break it down for you right now, ghetto funk style . . .  or at least the best a Polish/Mexican can do.

 

            So back in the day there was this G named Achilles and he was one bad ass mother fucker.  He was dipped in this river that made him invincible except for one spot, the back of his foot; it was cool though because he had some fly kicks that helped protect that area.  Achilles also had to come to grips with the fact that he wanted to be forever remembered, kind of ironic for a pseudo-immortal, yo diggety.

            There was also this playa named Paris who seduced all these bitches in his hood of Troy.  He had a brotha named Hector who, despite having a stupid-ass name was a bad ass on killing field.  He would take his gat—err—sword and slice and dice better than ginsu.  He was also a smart mother when it came to plannin and stratagizin and using what he calls diplomacy. 

            One day Paris and his bro Hector went over to the hood of Sparta to make an alliance with them.  While Hector and the king of Sparta were drinking a forty and spilling some for their homies (Gods like Zeus and Apollo), Paris was sneaking off to get some Spartan lovin from the King’s main ho, Helen.  Now Helen was a supa fly hottie. She was PHat with a capital PH. 

            Later when Hector and Paris went back to Troy, Hector found out that Paris brought with him Helen because it love at first banging or something like that.  Hector wasn’t the only fool who found this out.  The king of Sparta found out as well and was rather pissed.  So he got some of his posse together to go get Helen back and to conquer Troy.  His posse included Ajax, a strong, tall, thick-soled brotha that could wield an axe better than a lumber jack; Odysseus who was king of Ithaca and clever, and Achilles who was gabbed about before and was one bad ass mother. 

            Essentially there were some shoot outs with spears and some fisticuffs with swords between the Trojans and Spartans.  Eventually Odysseus came up with this idea to get a fly ride like giant wooden horse to sneak into the hood of Troy.  He, Ajax, Achilles, and others went in the fly ride, sacked Troy and enjoyed their time there because Troy is phat.  Helen fled Troy regretting coming but was happy because Hector was coo wit her being there.   

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