No I don’t want to get laid tonight. Nor do I want to increase the length of my penis three fold. I don’t need my breasts enlarged or facial hair removed. I don’t need my loans consolidated because I have only one student loan. I really don’t need to find my soul mate, I am sure if she really wants, she can find me or give me a call at 1-219-462-8812. Also, I will not forward your annoying-to-logic email that will invoke bad luck if I do not send it.
What I do want; however, is a damn email from the Late Show with David Letterman so that I no longer read all of my emails to ensure that I didn’t get an interview or internship.