Engineer & Entertain

Ideas I grapple with

            The first weekend of college is behind us already and hopefully by now you have gone to at least one frat party and hooked up with some random person.  If you haven’t done this, why are behind the curve?

            Presuming you did hook up you may have encountered a problem, a problem bigger than that burning sensation you will be feeling after the hook up.  The problem is forgetting the person’s name you hooked up with and will be waking up next to.  Here are some handy problems to avoid this embarrassing issue:

 

  1. Don’t Panic.  No girl wants to wake up and see their hook up crying or sniveling because their hook up cannot remember their name. 
  2. Look for a magazine subscription, mail, or medicine prescription that may have their name on it.  If the person has room mates, try to determine whether or not the article belongs to them or not.  Also, if you used a medical prescription bottle to determine their name, check to see what it is for because you probably have that disease now as well.  Unless it is a yeast infection . . .
  3. If you cannot determine their name, try using terms of endearment like baby, sweetie, sweet bottom, or candy ass. 
  4. Utilize what you learned in English class; the you understood/implied.  By not saying the name it is implying that you are referring to them i.e. “Brianna, will you please hand me my boxers that were flung across the room during our wild tryst?” can simply be shortened to “Please hand me my boxers that were flung across the room during our wild tryst?”  See you are implying them with out saying their name.  Yay for finally using something English.  Now if I can just find a damn purpose for the Scarlet Letter

 

Should you not be able to remember, you probably will not being seeing this person ever again which can be a little annoying and disconcerting, till you realize there is next weekend for you to make the same mistakes over again.

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