Engineer & Entertain

Ideas I grapple with

            Invariably you will probably be invited to a soiree, box social, shin dig, or some other form of a social gathering.  Unlike other get-togethers that have themes (wear your pajama, two pieces of clothing only, clothing optional or frat), this merry-making event will have no theme.  Why?  Because it is the closest weekend to Halloween.  It is innate that the theme will be wear-whatever-costume-you-would-for-Halloween.  

            Some of you may lack a costume.  Some of you may lack the monetary means for a costume.  Some of you may lack heart, brain and courage.  Well, here are some tips to coming up with a costume on the spot.

 

  1. Don’t Forget the Classics

Don’t pretend like you don’t know what I am talking about.  The classics.  Wearing dark cloths and carrying a squirt gun – you’re a dark, and stormy night.  (Bonus, if you wear armor to make it a dark and stormy knight).  You can place a bow atop your head and a gift tag that says, “To: Men/Women  From:  God.”  Wear a fake mustache and carry a cane and be a Mustachio.  Things like this my friend, are the classics. 

  1. Work with you got around

You have bed sheets, use them.  You can dress as a ghost, a Pac man ghost, a toga wearing Roman, or a racist.  I cannot stress this enough, do not go as that last one.  Unless you’re a minority in which case some circles might find it ironic. 

 

Wear a robe and carry a towel.  If you have dorks for friends, you’re Arthur Dent.  If you hang around with the cool kids like I wish to do some day, then you’re simply a man getting ready for a cool costume party. 

 

I have several sets of karate uniforms lying around, so guess what I go dressed as?  That’s right I go dressed as a doctor every Halloween.  (The scrubs have pockets and it’s hard to carry a wallet when you’re a ninja.)

Clearly if you have scrubs lying around you can go as a nurse, of if you are a female a naughty night nurse.  Cheerleader uniform?  Then go as naughty night cheerleader.  If you have karate gis lying around you can go as a naughty night ninja.  You get the idea.

 

After all that naughty night talk I feel that now would be the perfect time to mention that Halloween is the perfect excuse for a girl to wear whatever sluttacular outfit she wants while still calling it a “costume.”  Before you scoff at a girl like this, I might remind you gentlemen that this is probably one of the few times you can actually fulfill your fantasy of being with a nurse, French maid, Jedi knight or whatever without being laughed at.  This is your one chance to ask your girl to be someone she’s not with out her saying, “You don’t love me for who I am?”  Plus, after Halloween all those short skirts that we love so much go into hibernation.

  1. Get with a Friend

Remember what we learned in Kindergarten; sharing is caring.  Share a costume with a friend or two.  Do you have spare Ethernet cable?  Wrap it around yourself and a friend or two. You’re now trick-or-treating as the internet.  If you hand each CDs while doing it, you’re a peer to peer network.

 

Clearly with all these awesome ideas you’re bound to go be the proverbial belle of the proverbial ball.  Even if you’re not, you at least won’t be harassed as much as the guy without a costume. 

 

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