Engineer & Entertain

Ideas I grapple with

This could give your relationship a PUSH UP

            You see that title line was a pun and thus my best attempt to introduce the topic; buying your sweetie lingerie for Valentine’s Day.  You could send flowers, get a picture frame, or instead of being cliché you can be bold and buy your sweetie a piece of lingerie.    

            While trying to pick out a piece of lingerie there are a variety of things to consider.  The most important thing is to get her size right.  Too small and she’ll think you wish she was smaller, too big and she might think you’re calling her fat.  Sure you have an understanding girl, but no need to put it to the test. 

            Another important thing to consider is the material since this will be upon on your sweetie’s skin.  Yes, yes if things go right it won’t be on her long but none the less take the fabric into consideration.  Touch the fabric and run it through your fingers a bit.  Don’t worry the sales help won’t think you’re weird . . . yet.  Now think to yourself, would you want to sleep on this for an evening?  If you wouldn’t want to have the fabric against your skin for an extended period of time neither will she.   

            Another critical point is taste and tact.  Yes, we all dream for the busty German beer maiden, but this if for her not you (well, kind of you).  What does she like?  If you have no clue your best bet is to go with solid color, preferably one that is her favorite or that she likes.  If there is a design, go for something simple like stripes or fun polka dots.  Animal prints may be tempting but you’re supposed to be making love to a woman, not a cheetah. 

            In a similar vein/vain/vane, buy something she’ll actually want to wear.  Is she adamantly opposed to thongs?  Does she hate the way v strings make her thighs look?  Corsets are fun but can be constricting and if you have a hard time with the one hand technique imagine having to do that five times over with a corset.  Yeah, not so tempting to get her now, now is it?  It gets worse if it is a traditional lace up one.  Remember how you were embarrassed when you were six and had to go to your mom to untie your shoes?  Same feeling, but worse. 

            In case you decided to go the lingerie route for you sweetie you may shockingly surprised that you’ll spend more money for less material?  Why is this?  For one, you’re paying for the material such as a sexy silk, a lovely lave, or tantalizing tulle.  The other thing is that since you are buying something with less material it means that it has to fit better.  Thus more labor, and believe you me, if you’ve ever see the Ms. in an ill fitting thong you’d have wished you paid the higher price for the thong that was meticulously crafted. 

What do I recommend if you just have no clue?  Go with a camisole and thong, boy shorts, or bikini briefs set.  It is something she’ll appreciate, it allows you to begin your journey of buying fun and sexy lingerie for her, it is sexy and suggestive without being whorish, and it’s something she’ll wear oft to bed, with you, or with you to bed.  And that my friend is something I’m sure you’ll appreciate. 

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3 thoughts on “This could give your relationship a PUSH UP

  1. Anonymous on said:

    So.. how long did you look at Victoria secret stuff before you decided to add it to a blog post?
    -The Coffee House Maiden

  2. Anonymous on said:

    I have the same question the Maiden posted…we won’t even get into what else you were doing or how long your cold shower was. I have to tell you…they’re great ideas…we just need to get you a girl!
    ~Boo

  3. First and foremost, who are you guys? Coffee house maiden? Boo? I know several people from the coffee house. Moreover, “Boo”? Have I ever referred to anyone as Boo? If I have I am incredibly sorry. Note to self: remember pet names. On the plus side I may have people reading this that I don’t know. Kind of neat. I now have 5.7 readers as opposed to 4.6.
    And there’s no need for anyone to get me a girl. I’ve got too much girl right now left over from my birthday. It’s just sitting in the freezer – hmm this is beginning to sound less like leftovers and more like misogyny. Damn.
    Anyway, as towards how long I looked through Vic’s? Not long. I simply went to their page and linked the articles. And no linked the article is not what the kids are calling it on the street now-a-days. While beautiful women are something I greatly admire, when they’re on a computer screen I don’t admire them. Now if they were in my bedroom . . . well I’d probably have to dust. Speaking of which . . .

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