Engineer & Entertain

Ideas I grapple with

Public Service Announcement

        Ladies, I care about you. I know, I know, it’s hard to imagine that I do since I’ll occasionally make misogynistic jokes (i.e. say, “bitches and hoes”), perpetually hit on you, and leave you unsatisfied sexually – but I’m trying. As such I am giving this public service announcement about inflammatory breast cancer. I know you’re exclaiming, “But Benji, I already perform self breast exams once a month!” And for that I commend you because early detection is important. However, IBC does not present itself with a lump like other breast cancers; in fact it is often confused for mastitis.

So if there is no lump what should you look for? Glad you asked

Signs and Symptoms include:

  • Increase in breast size, sometimes a few cups in a few days.
  • Itching that is unrelenting with treatments e.g. topical creams
    • Further compounding this symptom is that a person may have a lesion that appears to be a bug bite
  • Peau D’orange (link contains picture) – essentially your breast and nipple feel and look like the skin of an orange
  • A bruise that does not go away
  • Nipple flattening or retraction, that is, the nipple may be inverted slightly.
  • Breasts feel excessively warm to touch, firmer and harder than usual

If you have a symptom or two, please do not immediately presume you have IBC. I highly recommend that you have it further evaluated by a medical professional. If the medical professional diagnoses it as mastitis be sure to ask about the possibility of Inflammatory Breast Cancer as many professionals have never heard this type of breast cancer either. And remember ladies, I care about you. Moreover, in the words of Wesley, I mean Wesley, “There’s a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. It would be a pity to damage yours.”


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6 thoughts on “Public Service Announcement

  1. I’m actually quite surprised that you didn’t especially emphasize that you yourself are a medical professional, or nearly so, that probably wouldn’t at all mind checking into the matter for us ladies. I mean that in the nicest way. 🙂

    That said, thanks for the PSA and nice job with the quote!

    • True, I would have no problem performing a breast exam and I actually have pamphelets that teach how to do a self breast exam (additionally, I also have ones for testicular self exams which is important guys!). I presumed though that the readers would probably want to go to someone with M.D., N.P., or R.N. after their name rather than someone who is trying to earn M.D., N.P., or R.N. after their name. Either way though.

  2. Benji, your concern is touching, ehem, I mean, uh, meaningful. 😉
    Seriously though, thank you. I for one had never heard of IBC. Very informative post. I’m going to pass the info on to my mom and sister.

  3. I actually got an email from a friend about IBC the other, and its really a scary thing. Brownie points for caring about your female friends and their breasts.

  4. You’re not the first

    That’s right; you’re not the first to confuse me with the ever-so-handsome-Wesley-of-Pricess-Bride-ia. In fact, my very wife awoke in a startle the other morning, sat up, turned her head quickly toward me and exclaimed, “Wait!!! THAT’s not the Wesley I thought I married. Who is to protect me from the Rodents of Unusual Sizes?” I have since died my hair and, per Sarah’s request, rolled down a very large hill with her. Now it all makes sense, though. When we were dating, she kept asking when she would get to see Andre the Giant. Of course, my continued promises of “Our wedding night,” were disappointing to us both when that night came.

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